So I have really been struggling lately with my weight gain and how I look. I am so insecure with myself and I worry about it and feel depressed over it. I hate gaining weight and I feel like I gain weight so fast when I'm pregnant. It's not like I'm eating unhealthy or a lot for that matter. I don't eat an inordinate amount of carbohydrates or sweets. And I don't just sit around all day! I've been working out again and I have been keeping up with and doing a lot of housework. But for some reason when I'm pregnant the pounds just go on. I was discussing this with my midwife on Tuesday and she said maybe it is just how my body adjusts to being pregnant. She said normal weight gain for a pregnancy is anywhere between 20 - 50 pounds. I have always gained a lot when I was pregnant with the boys (I think around 50 lbs) but I'm hoping I won't gain as much this time around. However, I've gained 16 pounds already (mostly in my hips, bottom and thighs) and I still have 3 1/2 more months to go. It's just really been bothering me lately. I really think I need to just try and be thankful that I am able to have children and that I have had healthy pregnancies and healthy children so far. God has really blessed me and I'm letting my pride about my physical appearance take over. I remember thinking after Kieran was born "I would be fat for you a million times over!" And I know I will feel that way after each baby because they are each so precious and I would do anything in the world for them.
In other baby news, my midwife appointment went well on Tuesday. Next appointment. (in 3 weeks) I am drinking some grape juice and having my blood drawn to test my sugar level. I am so thankful I don't have to drink that nasty orange drink given by the doctors. I just ordered my little home birth kit on-line and my midwife gave me some lists of supplies and things I need to collect and have on hand for the baby's arrival. Reading through it all made it seem so much more real. I am still so glad I have time to prepare but I know the due date will be here before we know it! 15 more weeks to be exact. I am scared and nervous about another natural labor. Something I want to change this time around, is not to have ANY back labor! I am going to do everything possible to make that happen and that may involve making some visits to the chiropractor as well as doing certain exercises to get the baby in the right position. Lots of praying too! I also need to find a new pediatrician that is open to minimal/no vaccinations.
Tomorrow is our 4th wedding anniversary! We are planning a romantic evening after the boys are in bed. A fondue candlelight meal and a movie. Next week we will be heading to St. Augustine for two nights so I'm really looking forward to that!
Oh, and I just remembered that I am 25 weeks along today with our little girl! :) I just need to keep reminding myself that I am so blessed and I have so much to be thankful for.
You are beautiful my friend! Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:4
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